Saturday, March 19, 2011

Who Would Win in a Fight, a Robot or Two Bears?

This quandary has plagued mankind for centuries, and I would be honored to give my opinion.
Now, initially, there seems like a clear winner in this match: the robot, due to robots natural usage of missiles and machine guns, while bears can only claw at them and maybe throw nuts at them. However, one forgets that the bears have the advantage of numbers, which can be exploited in many different ways. For example, one of the bears could distract the robot while the other one sneaks up behind it and tackles it before biting off its robot head, and this is only one of many possible ways to take advantage. 

Let’s look at the aforementioned scenario a little more closely. If the first bear was able to distract the robot and the second bear were to attempt to ambush it, there would already be a number of naturally difficulties against them, even disregarding the possibility of the robot being able to turn its head 180 or even 360 degrees (like Mechagodzilla). For instance, bears are very large, and a bear “sneaking up” on something is very hard to imagine, and would be even less effective if the robot has sensors or some sort of internal radar which alerts it to nearby large mammals trying to attack it. The inclusion of such a specific radar system is effectively doubled when one keeps in mind that the robot’s creator may have created the robot SPECIFICALLY for fighting bears. If this is the case, then it is equally likely that the inventor did not count on there being more than one bear, thus giving the bears the advantage all over again. 

At this point, there are a couple things about the bears and the robot themselves that must be taken into account, such as:

  1. The intelligence of the bears-are the Bernstein-smart? Yogi-smart (in this case, making them more easily distracted by picanic baskets)? Or are they just your average run-of-the-mill bear? And if the last is true, why is the robot even bothering with them anyway? If either of the first two are the case, then the bears are the clear winners. Of course, until we take into account the second deciding factor…
  2. The design and intentional purpose of the robot- is it a sort of military robot, like one of the robots from Iron Man 2? Is it a scouting robot, like the Probots from Star Wars? Is it a sort of all-in-one robot, like the ones from I, Robot? Or is it just a single-function retard-equivalent robot, like a roomba? If either of the first two are true, the bears don’t seem to stand much of a chance, but one must keep in mind that the first, third, and fourth choices don’t seem to be likely to be in the forest fighting bears. Therefore, we must assume that the second choice is closer to the truth-a lightweight scouting robot. If this is the case, it seems to even the playing field a bit: it has advanced-enough sensors to sense a bear ambush, and also likely has some sort of low-grade laser, which could be useful if it sees the bears before the bears see it (which, due to its radar system, will likely be the case). However, if the bears DO get close enough to it, then the robot’s ass is grass because of its lightweight structure, and if the bears could CORNER it, there really WOULD be nowhere it could go. However, the argument of whether or not they could corner it leads nicely into another thing that must be considered…
  3. The environment in which the two are fighting- is this a robot scouting mission deep into some unknown forest? Is this an eco-terrorism infiltration mission deep into robot territory? Or is this the result of a time-traveler ending up in Ancient Rome and entering his robot companion as a gladiator? If the second or third are true (especially the second), then that makes it easier to discard the idea of the robot being lightweight or built for scouting, and more likely for it to be used for combat. (SIDENOTE: The reason this applies more to the second than it does to the third is because if a time-traveler ended up in Ancient Rome with a military death machine, chances are he wouldn’t bother with the gladiator fights and would just declare himself Cyber-Emperor of the New Roman Empire, thus drastically altering the world as we know it.) However, I think we can safely discard the entire second option, not only because bears generally don’t have tendencies to commit terrorism, but also because it raises the case as to why the eco-terrorists used bears for an infiltration mission, as opposed to something more stealthy, like, say, a team of squirrels. If the first is true, then we can default back to the scenario outlined in the discussion of the robot’s purpose.
So, now that we can safely assume a certain scenario, we can get down to the details of the actual conflict. Now, let’s say the scouting robot moves into the forest. Here is where one of two things could happen:
  1. The robot sees the bears first: If this is the case, then the robot has an initial advantage as outlined above, and could begin firing at the bears, depending on…
1a. The bears are hostile toward the robot: The bears begin to charge the robot. If this occurs, this could go one of two ways:
1aa. The bears both charge from the same side: The robot takes them both down. The robot wins.
1ab. The bears both charge from different sides. The robot perhaps takes out one of them, but the other one gets it from behind, and the robot, hemmed in by the trees, is destroyed. Bears win, but have suffered one casualty.
1b. The bears don’t respond to the robot: The bears just get on with eating and crapping and the robot zooms happily by. The conflict is avoided completely. Neither wins.
1c. The bears are hostile, but don’t openly charge it, intending to find it again later and eat it. This could go a couple of different directions…
1ca. The robot is caught on an open plain and the bears, utilizing their powerful leg muscles, catch up with it and eat it. Bears win.
1cb. The bears charge it on an open plain, but the robot turns its head 180 degrees and takes them both down. Robot wins.
1cc. The robot is faster than the bears and goes down an unexpected path, so the bears lose track of the robot. The conflict is avoided completely. Neither wins. (Unless some other woodland creatures down the road take issue with the robot, but that’s another scenario for another time.)
1cd. The robot pauses for a rest in an open field, because it is solar powered. The bears sneak up on it while it recharges and destroys it. Bears win.



  1. The bears see the robot first. In this case, the bears have a couple ways of going about this…
2a. (See all scenarios outlined under “1c.”)
2b. The bears see the robot first and decide to put up Ewok-style home-alone traps for the robot. This could go a couple ways…  
2ba. While the bears are setting up their traps, the robot dashes past them and the bears miss their chance. The conflict is avoided completely. Neither wins.
2bb. While the bears are setting up their traps, the robot notices them and sees what they’re up to. The bears, preoccupied by setting up the traps, are unable to run as the robot mows them down. Robot wins.
2bc. While the bears are setting up their traps, the robot has to stop and rest because it is solar powered. By the time it’s ready to keep moving, the traps are completed and they all activate, destroying the robot. Bears win.
2bd. While the bears are setting up their traps, the robot has to stop and rest because it is solar powered. By the time it’s ready to keep moving, the traps are completed, but they backfire, killing the bears. Robot wins, even though it doesn’t know it.
2be. While the bears are setting up their traps, the robot has to stop and rest because it is solar powered. By the time it’s ready to keep moving, the traps are completed, but they do not activate, and the robot keeps going. The conflict is avoided completely. Neither wins.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed my take on this age-old question. Thank you for reading.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Who Would Win in a Fight, a Zombie or a Shark

Who Would Win in a Fight, a Zombie or a Shark?

Initially, this seems to have a very simple solution: it depends on the environment they’re in. To elaborate, if the shark is on land, it seems the zombie would win, and if the zombie is underwater, it seems like the shark would win. However, it’s not that clear-cut.

Again, multiple variables get in the way of this being a case of who’s on offense and who is on defense. To even the playing field, let us assume that it is a zombie invasion of a local aquarium (this being the most plausible scenario), meaning a small body of water surrounded by land. Now, this is where the variables come into play. For example, we have to take into account…

1. The kind of shark. Now, one would assume that the shark would be your run-of-the-mill shark, big and water-dwelling with fins and fangs and everything. However, there are multiple kinds of sharks we have to consider, and all non-average kinds of sharks give it an advantage. Firstly, it could be a land shark, meaning it would be able to “walk” around on land. While this would make it easier to fight off the zombie, the zombie would also be much more comfortable fighting a humanoid opponent. Secondly, and if this were the case the zombie would be much worse off, it could be a cyber-shark, with instead of fangs, it has missiles, and instead of fins it has jet engines. While this would be totally fucking sweet, it doesn’t seem as likely, unless the owner of the aquarium was a mad scientist, and was expecting the zombie attack, which I’m not saying is impossible, just improbable. However, if this IS the case, I think we can safely assume that the shark would win, but we still need to take into account…

2. The kind of zombie. Again, one would assume the zombie would be your basic, lumbering, slow-moving, “braaaains” type of zombie, and initially it seems like this is the case. However, one must remember that the shark is fighting ONE zombie, not a lot of them. In this case, one can assume that the zombie is at least an “I am Legend” kind of zombie, or, at most, a mechanical super-zombie, perhaps sent by the now-corrupt future government to bring down the insane Dr. Aquarius in his quest to unleash his underwater robot army, forcing the protagonist to choose between two evils, helping a mad terrorist to overthrow the corrupt government, or aiding said government to bring down the one person who might be able to stop them.

With all this being taken into account, we can safely guess that the most exciting scenario is one in which the super-powerful cyborg bio-weapon zombie faces off against the Mechano-Shark 2000. Now, since the shark has jet engines and can fly, it seems to have an obvious advantage, but the super-zombie is much better equipped by the government, so it could go multiple ways…

1. The zombie shoots first, firing a massive bio-bomb into the aquarium.

1a. The shark is able to activate its jet engines in time to fly over the gas cloud resulting from the blast and opens fire at the zombie, rapidly firing missiles out of its mouth. However, the zombie is also equipped for speed and side-steps the missiles, beginning to fire its multiple mini-guns at the shark, the bullets bouncing off of the shark’s titanium armor plating. The shark rams the zombie, and shatters its armor before incinerating it with another missile bombardment. Shark wins.

1b. The shark is unable to activate its engines and chokes to death. Zombie wins.



2. The shark is expecting the attack and flies up into the air, firing more missiles at the zombie.

2a. The zombie side-steps again, and the shark tries to ram it, but the zombie uses its mechanically-enhanced arms to grab the shark by one of its jet engine-fins and toss it against the side of the aquarium before shooting a bio-bomb at it, melting its armor and choking it to death. Zombie wins

2aa. The zombie succeeds in tossing the shark into the aquarium, but the force of the momentum and the fact that its jet engines are still working cause it to crash through it, flying back up into the air. Realizing it is in critical condition, the shark activates its limit break and fires a nuclear missile at the zombie, destroying it. Shark wins.

2aaa. The government was expecting the nuclear missile, and the radiation only makes it stronger, allowing it to easily dispatch the weakened shark. Zombie wins.

Now, I realize it’s unlikely that the government would be expecting a nuclear missile, but keep in mind this zombie itself has some pretty heavy firepower, so they were expecting SOMETHING tough to be living in the aquarium. In the end, it all depends on what the shark’s limit break, because if instead of a nuclear missile it fires a meteor at the zombie, that zombie is screwed. So without information regarding the shark’s limit break, I’m afraid I can’t actually decide on a clear-cut winner.

In any case, I hope my thoughts help you decide on your own outcome, and thank you for reading.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Japan

My heart goes out to all the people who lost their lives and others their livelihoods. The estimates of deaths are now reaching the tens of thousands and the full extent of the destruction is being revealed to be devastating and will take time to recover. I hope that the Japanese receive aid and are able to pull out of this horrible disaster. They have given the world a lot in the way of tech and are on the cutting edge of many tech fields like robotics and crazy randomness in terms of inventions.

This video shows the kind of destruction that ripped its way through Japan.

On a related note I hope global enthusiasm for nuclear power doesn't dissolve from this disaster. The Japanese are very competent people who have managed to control the situation very well. People are comparing this to a new Chernobyl, while this could be an apt comparison, it is not as technology has increased greatly since the time of that nuclear disaster.

At Chernobyl the Russians wanted to cut costs so they removed as many possible safety measures untill it all went BOOM! I dream of a future of much cleaner energy, and nuclear fission seems like one of the best ways to accomplish this goal.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Pokemon Black

Just recently a new game was released for the Nintendo DS, Pokemon Black. Throughout my life and I expect, many others as well, they have been influenced by this game in some shape or form.

It started out as a kid in middle school playing Pokemon Red and to this day as a adult (apparently) This game has led to my love of video games and technology in general. I hope this game has influenced many others in the same way it has affected me, from Squirtle to the Oshawatt or however the creators of Pokemon decided to name the water starter this version around.

I hope others as well have been affected and realize how great this series. A final shout-out to the Developers of this game, creating a very well constructed piece of gaming that essentially created the Nintendo handheld division.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Random Paper I wrote, just thought someone on the internet might find it interesting

From the Colonial Archives AE 374
Written and compiled by George Liber

What is it, which drives men to madness? How may you stand in the way of change? The answer lies within the deepest part of the soul. In this war-torn age of technology, the very nature of being has been lost. Unable to find it, many wars and calamities have struck. When your god has abandoned you, where do you go? Where can you go? You must turn to what you have: technology.
Computers, Advanced thinking machines. Evolving, disturbingly human mannerisms… What was once a thing of the past is now a necessity. Look around you, and you will see it. The systems of light, air and water! Our existence is damned without it. But damned it is with it, too. This has always been, even before the Tearing. Great estates, cities, homes, and countries- in our minds or otherwise- built from the ground up with technology! An awesome sight indeed, but a doomed one.
It was always known that this utopia of technological ecstasy would ultimately die. The great concrete monolith in which we all live- the Block- which was the keeper of our lives and the death of society; all was foretold. And by whom, but all of us! The men, women and children! All of them dead… Life now exists only in the Block. The systems control the people, bending them to their will. A fake existence in a fake society. Even the air is false; toxic, laced with poisons of the mind. All playing its part in our downfall.
Those chemicals are what led to the sterility. No more births… The application of genetic engineering is the only thing that keeps our society on the edge and above the water. But after so many generations, this false sense of being would die too. This social amnesiac swept through the Block like the plague it was. The once desolate and unlivable outside world was transformed in the eyes of the people to a brilliant paradise, and the Block, the only salvation from war, became like a prison that no one could ever leave.
The fortress was built upon one of the few remaining untouched lands, inside of Death Valley, the prison for the remainders of humanity was constructed. The city was designed to be self-sufficient, however many things broke down over the years and slowly brought The Block to a corroded concrete deathtrap that would bring trouble to all sheltered under it's massive roof. This seemingly perfect sanctuary had become a prison that held all vestiges of humanity underneath it's concrete roof.
Control, oppression, and above all, corruption, these three parasitic devices of death were in place from the very beginning. The makeshift government inside the Block quickly vanished. One elite group, the Command Defense Force, rose to power. With a tyrannical rage the CDF crushed any and all opposition. To keep the masses in their favor, they told the denizens of the block about the outside world; its destroyed cities, the acrid stench of death, the unlivable atmosphere.
Not that the atmosphere inside the Block was any better. Inside, all the systems of life were regulated by machines. Air was filtered by giant conduits on the ceiling of the structure, hidden from view by the artificial sun. Water coolers and storage tanks were tucked away underneath the corrugated floor beneath the buildings. In many ways, the Block was much like a normal city, albeit contained inside of a concrete shell. At a colossal six-hundred miles long, three-hundred miles wide, and three miles high, the Block was a giant among other structures. It was an engineering masterpiece, the opus of modern architecture.
Yet with so much progress there came tragedy. The bio-mechanical implants that were created to work with organ failures now were being exploited to create a new faction of super-criminals. Black market implants allowed anyone with enough money to obtain a Brain Control Interface and gain access to the Network; the cyberspace realm patrolled by CDF Adepts, linking all parts of the Block together. It was a sort of virtual reality where systems could be monitored and repaired with the careful hands of a computerized avatar. Despite varied attempts by hackers to bring down the CDF's Network, they always stayed one step ahead. The Network was able to link into many different areas of the Block and allowed the hackers to gain some measure of power in the tumultuous realm surrounding them. This control could be executed in many ways by the denizens of the Network, from stealing credits to taking control of the very systems that controlled the Block.
Technicians engineered special suits: total white battle armor capable of withstanding even a direct hit from a rocket. Armored vehicles, tanks, and specialized helicopters... All used and created by the CDF for keeping the rebellious citizens in check. Be it by force or propaganda, the elite military force kept the Block under their command, ensuring that no one could get out.
A rebellion soon came. It was not just out in the concrete city, but in the Network, too. Skilled hackers and Adepts tested wits often over the control of the life-support systems that controlled life in the Block. Rebel fighters armed with stolen CDF weaponry fought long and hard for control of territory. They tried and tried again, always decimated by the superior Command Defense Force. It seemed an end to the war was inevitable, in favor of the CDF. The people knew this. An end was coming, A final stand.
It would be a battle the people of the block would feel around the world for the rest of human life.
End of Report.

My First Inaugural Post!!!

Well i decided today that I should create a blog as I...well just feel like it. I hope this will be a fun time and I hope I get to know some new peoples through this great service!